Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a season of love, gifts, and shared moments. But for one woman, it has become a source of frustration and emotional exhaustion.
She recently took to social media to share her ongoing struggle with her boyfriend, whose grief over his mother’s passing seems to overshadow their relationship every February. “My boyfriend’s mother died on Valentine’s Day three years ago. I have not received Valentine’s gifts in three years because of that,” she wrote.
According to her, the pattern repeats itself every year. As February begins, her boyfriend becomes withdrawn and emotional. He changes his WhatsApp display picture to his late mother’s photo, spends days crying, and avoids any Valentine-related activities.
While her friends celebrate with gifts, romantic gestures, and shared experiences, she is left feeling neglected. “I have tried to be understanding and supportive,” she said. “I remind him that his mother is in heaven and encourage him to find happiness again, but nothing has changed.”
This year, the familiar scene unfolded once more: a WhatsApp profile picture of his mother, emotional withdrawal, and no Valentine’s celebration.
Frustrated and questioning her relationship, she wondered aloud whether her boyfriend was genuinely grieving—or simply using the anniversary of his mother’s death as an excuse to avoid putting effort into their relationship.
Her post has sparked a heated debate online, with some sympathizing with the boyfriend’s grief, and others emphasizing that repeated emotional neglect is unfair to a partner.
This situation raises a larger question many couples face: how do we balance personal grief with the needs of a relationship? Grief is valid and can take time to process, but a healthy relationship requires mutual care, communication, and effort. When a recurring event like Valentine’s Day becomes a point of tension, it may be time to talk openly, set boundaries, and explore ways to honor both personal loss and the partnership.
At the heart of this dilemma is a universal truth: love and empathy must go both ways. Supporting a grieving partner is admirable—but so is ensuring your own emotional needs are met.
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Published by Ejoh Caleb
