A Nigerian man has shared a deeply personal account of how a past relationship in Germany resurfaced and is now threatening his marriage.
In a lengthy confession posted online, the man admitted he maintained two relationships at different times and failed to fully disclose the truth before marrying his longtime partner in July 2025.
How It Began
According to him, he met his wife in 2019, and they officially began dating in 2020.
In February 2022, he relocated to Germany for his Master’s degree, promising to marry her and build a future together. He encouraged her to return to the College of Nursing for an additional qualification to strengthen their prospects abroad.
While adjusting to life in Germany, he said he tried to remain supportive of his partner back home despite the challenges of relocation and academics.
The Second Relationship
In September 2022, he met another Nigerian woman in Germany — a pharmacist who had lived there for two years. She offered to assist him with his pharmacist registration process.
Over time, she expressed romantic interest. He admitted he failed to clearly reject her and instead kept her close as a “friend,” despite already being in a committed relationship.
He confessed that he developed feelings for her but kept what he described as “two options,” uncertain about what the future held with his girlfriend in Nigeria.
Eventually, after persistent pressure from the woman in Germany, he began dating her — without disclosing that he was already in a relationship back home.
He believed that, with time, one relationship might naturally fade. However, he admitted that emotions grew stronger, making it difficult to disengage.
Choosing His Wife
In 2024, he travelled to Nigeria and became convinced that his girlfriend was “here to stay.” He began distancing himself from the woman in Germany and eventually ended the relationship before his wedding in July 2025.
Though he said the separation was difficult, he insisted he remained firm in his decision to marry.
However, communication did not completely stop. He revealed that they reduced contact to occasional conversations once or twice a week. In September 2025, they both attended his landlord’s wedding in Germany and took a photograph together.
The Discovery
In February this year, while visiting Port Harcourt for Valentine’s Day, his wife checked his phone and found the wedding photograph.
As he attempted to explain, a new message from the woman in Germany appeared on his screen. The message expressed closure, referencing their past relationship, trust issues, and family dynamics.
His wife was reportedly devastated.
She responded from his phone:
“I am married now. I am sorry I didn’t tell you that blankly. I understand how you feel. Have a good life.”
The man admitted he had never told his wife the full extent of the relationship, fearing it would hurt her. He insisted there had been no physical involvement since his marriage but acknowledged that he had concealed the emotional depth of what transpired.
Now, he says he feels like he is losing his wife and has pleaded for advice on how to convince her that the relationship has truly ended.
Online Reactions
The story has sparked intense debate about honesty, emotional infidelity, and long-distance relationships.
“You didn’t lose your wife because of the message. You lost her because of the lies.”
“Keeping ‘two options’ is never wise. Marriage isn’t a backup plan.”
“Emotional cheating hurts just as much as physical cheating.”
“Why were you still chatting once or twice a week after ending it?”
“The other woman showed more closure than you did.”
“You can’t build trust on half-truths.”
“Your wife is grieving the version of you she thought she married.”
“Long-distance relationships require double honesty, not double options.”
“If the message didn’t pop up, would you ever have confessed?”
“This is a lesson: unresolved relationships don’t disappear — they resurface.”
The situation has reignited conversations about transparency before marriage, the risks of emotional “backup plans,” and the long-term consequences of withholding the truth.
Published by Ejoh Caleb
